Barrow race
Mr. T! Mr. Teeheehee!!
An awkwardly familiar, feminine voice interrupted the demon barbers thoughts of vengeance and blood.
Im not here! he said, but before he could even blink, Mrs. Lovett entered his room with the force of an F5 tornado.
Mr. Todd!
Im not interested in whatever you have to
he grunted, but before he could finish speaking, she grasped his arm and dragged him out of his room, to a point just outside of her pie shop.
Look, Mr. T. isnt it just wonderful?
What? What am I supposed to see? he snarled, looking for the fastest way out. That old wheelbarrow?
Its not old, the baker objected, it has been my fathers.
Sweeney rolled his eyes, as if old and the fact that it had belonged to her father were exactly the same thing.
When my sister and I were young, we used to play with it. One of us would sit down in it and the other pushing the wheelbarrow was blindfolded. The one who was sitting gave instructions where to go to the one who was pushing. Our father was always there to make sure we wouldnt hurt ourselves or others. Both my father and sister died a long time ago, but today I feel like barrow racing again.
So?
Dont you understand? she said quickly, as if it wasnt obvious. I cant blindfold myself and give instructions at the same time, you silly man. I need a team mate!
Mrs. Lovett, Sweeney said, with a faked reasonable voice, hoping to bring some of his landladys sanity back, youre a grown woman! You cant play the games you used to play when you were a child!
Of course I can, she replied happily. Im free to do what I want.
Mrs. Lovett, youre free to do what you want, indeed, but youre not free to decide what I want. Now if you excuse me, I have serious things on my mind.
I thought not, she said, you need a bit of distraction before you lose your marbles!
Not even making the effort to answer, Sweeney just walked away.
Mrs. Lovett however, smiled wickedly and took the handles of the barrow. She pushed the thing into the barbers direction and increased speed, thus literally knocking his legs from underneath him. With a loud thud, the barber fell painfully into the barrow.
You
you
DAFT WOMAN! Sweeney shouted, but it was no use. Before he managed to climb out of the rather big wheelbarrow, Mrs. Lovett had blindfolded herself with an old piece of cloth and to Sweeneys horror; she drove the barrow straight into the chaotic traffic of Fleet Street.
What are you doing?! he screamed, panicking, when the two of them missed a fast driving carriage with only a few yards.
Im not doing anything until you tell me where to go Mr. T! she yelled enthusiastically.
I refuse to cooperate in this
this
suicide thing of yours! the barber replied, wondering why he, after all the misery from the past, had a crazy landlady as well.
Thats what youre saying now!
STOP OR I WILL CUT YOUR THROAT! Sweeney yelled, not caring that all the inhabitants of Fleet Street could her it.
First make sure we survive this, Mr. T. Now, tell me because I cant see a thing, where do we have to go?
I wont say one word to encourage this madness.
Sweeney didnt think he would change his mind, not even when all his attempts to climb out of the wheelbarrow failed miserably. Even when Mrs. Lovett had managed to reach the other side of the street (surprisingly, without killing either of them) and headed straight to Mrs. Moonys pie shop, Sweeney kept his mouth shut.
But when it was becoming awkwardly clear to him that if he wouldnt say anything, Mrs. Lovett would barge into the front of the shop at full speed, thus ruining the shop, the barrow and himself, the barber felt forced to break the silence.
To the left, you mad woman! he shouted.
Whatever you say Mr. T, she replied, yelling like an overexcited ten year old girl.
The playful baker made an abrupt 90 degree turn, thus leaving the relative quietness of the side of the street for the chaos of the middle.
Within a few seconds, Sweeney found himself almost face to face with a horse that was pulling a carriage.
To the right! he yelled before they would be overrun by the animal (or the other way around).
Mrs. Lovett reacted immediately, as abruptly as before, causing Sweeney to almost fall out of the barrow.
The next obstacle was a particularly bad part of the road, on which the barrow (and the barber in it) would certainly lose balance and fall on the merciless cobblestones.
To the left, but not so quick Sweeney yelled, while holding the edges of the barrow now to prevent himself from falling out of it.
Mrs. Lovett did as he had asked and she managed to get past the bad part of the street without getting stuck there.
FASTER! Sweeney yelled when a few boys, who were walking randomly on the street, would arrive at the same point on the same time as the barrow if they continued at this speed.
Immediately, Mrs. Lovett increased speed even more and they hurried past the three mesmerized boys, who wouldve been seriously injured if the barrow wouldve crossed their path only one second later.
His veins pumped adrenaline through his body and Mr. Todd had to admit that it was quite nice to race over Fleet Street like this; forgetting all his sorrows for a while and just enjoying the wind in his hair and the sensation in his chest, where his heart was beating fast in a combination of fear and excitement.
The baker and the barber raced through Fleet Street as if their dear life depended on it, both equally loving the dangerous and slightly immature game: Mrs. Lovett just liked to do something crazy every once and a while and Mr. Todd was curious to see how long the baker would be able to continue running and he liked it because it was a nice distraction for him indeed just like she had promised him.
After just having almost murdered the boys, the two preventing themselves from being hurt by a few other carriages, they managed to avoid killing a cat (probably the only one that wasnt caught by Mrs. Moony yet) and they succeeded in surviving a few more particularly dangerous corners and holes in the street.
When time progressed, the barber somehow found himself liking the game more and more, and when they almost hit an arrogant looking man who shouted rather offending things to them once he had recovered from the initial shock, the barber couldnt suppress a chuckle.
When he was used to Mrs. Lovetts abrupt and quick way of steering the barrow and when she had grown familiar with his short, snarled comments, even Sweeney had to admit to himself that they were quite a good team together and that it was quite nice to consider Fleet Street some kind of racing course instead of a gathering place for human filth for a while.
After a while, his landladys breath was becoming very irregular and Sweeney realized he had to stop the game to make sure she wouldnt tire herself too much she had more pies to bake, after all.
He verbally directed her to a quiet part of the road, about half a mile away from the shop, and ordered her to stop. Unlike last time he had done so, she obeyed now.
While Sweeney climbed out of the barrow, Mrs. Lovett removed the blindfold from her eyes and leant against a wall to catch her breath.
That was amazing, she managed to say after a while, I just felt like my eleven year old self again.
The barber looked at her, and he had to admit that he had never seen her so happy before. She was simply radiating with joy and the true mess her hair was now and her sweaty face couldnt change a thing about it.
Maybe we can kill the Judge like this, Sweeney said, not really wanting to break this unexpected worriless moment yet. Nobody will think we did it on purpose.
Mr. T! Are you completely insane? Mrs. Lovett replied, clearly in shock.
It was a joke, the barber said, rolling his eyes playfully when he saw the look on his landladys face, which went from shocked to amused in the few seconds that it took her to realize that the demon barber made an attempt to humor.
I suppose we should go back, Mrs. Lovett said after a few moments of silence.
Yes, we should, the barber replied, not really wanting to, but knowing that he had to in order to by ready just in case Judge Turpin would come for a shave.
Its quite a long way, Mrs. Lovett hinted, and Im rather tired now.
Is there something you want to ask, my pet? Sweeney asked sweetly.
Well, Mr. T, could you
she pointed from herself to the barrow and then to him. Please?
You want me to push you back to home in that thing? he asked, not knowing if he should be amused or not.
Yes, I think thatd be great.
Well, alright, he sighed, feigning to be a bit more reluctant than he actually he was.
Thank you, Mr. T, the baker replied happily.
When she climbed into the barrow, Sweeney inwardly sighed because he was, despite the fun they had had, relieved that she didnt ask him to wear the blindfold. No matter how nice it had been, he didnt want the Judge, who probably would heard of what had happened soon enough, to think that the barber was a complete moron.
Oh, wait a second, Mrs. Lovett said, climbing out of the barrow again.
Sweeney was afraid that she would ask him to wear the blindfold after all, and despite his initial unwillingness he promised himself that he would let her blindfold him if she wanted to; he wanted her to be happy in return for the distraction her game had been to him.
So when she approached him and reached for him, he didnt prevent her from doing so. In fact, he leant to her to make it easier for her to attach the blindfold.
She came close to him, closer than she had ever been, and she moved her hands to his face. But instead of the cloth of the blindfold, he felt her lips brush against his.
The moment was so short, that he even didnt know for sure if she had actually kissed him.
Thank you, she whispered in his ear before she removed himself from him quickly, almost as if she feared his reaction.
When she was seated safely in the barrow a few seconds later, Sweeney began walking, bringing her back to her home.
The entire ten minute walk back, it felt to Mr. Todd as if he was floating; both because of the fun he just had had and the memory of Mrs. Lovetts lips against his.















Comments
I LOVE THIS! THIS IS SO FUNNY! But also sweet at the same time. I especially love the part where Sweeney says: "I wont say one word to encourage this madness. I laughed so hard!
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I intend to live forever...so far, so good.
You can thank your lucky stars that everything I wish for will never come true.
The world will end tomorrow (unless postponed by rain).
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"The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death."
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Before you criticize someone, always walk a mile in their shoes, because then, when you criticize them, you'll be a mile away AND you'll have their shoes!
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You are not your signature
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You are not your signature
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You are not your signature
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Love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place.
Thanks!
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You are not your signature
You're avery, very good writer
(I will
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"I mean, there was a kid in my daughter's school who said 'You- You know your father is.. Johnny Depp?', and my daughter's reaction was classic, beautiful. She turned and like, 'Yeah...? So what?'
// Johnny Depp ~
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Love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place.
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